Anywhere but Here!

That day I wrote the status in my facebook, “Anywhere but here…”

Can’t stand everyone critic about my weight gain, also the no-have-child after 4 years married. Well, it should be easy for me right, I’ve dealing about this for 4 years also, but that day those questions were repeating over and over again. Somehow, it really surprise me that I still haven’t lost any patience.

Semua bertanya sebuah pertanyaan yang sama, “Lagi hamil ya?” Asumsi yang didasarkan pada berat badan yang bertambah, lalu aku jawab, “Engga, kok, kan kemarin keguguran.” Lalu mereka memasang wajah kaget dan kata-kata itu langsung meluncur dari mulut mereka. “Oh, karena kecapean kali ya.” Damn, I hate that words, bukan hanya satu dua orang saja, tapi SEMUA yang aku beritahu hal tersebut menyimpulkan hal yang sama. Sebel, lalu aku jawab saja, “Bukan, emang karena janinnya ga berkembang bla…bla.” Peduli mereka mengerti hal tersebut atau tidak.

Entah mengapa semua menyimpulkan bahwa keguguran itu adalah karena kecapaian. Is it myth that everyone carried around for hundred years or simply they just obnoxious?

Menurut www.babycenter.com keguguran atau miscarriage itu penyebabnya muti-faktor dan persentase terjadinya sekitar 10-20% dari seluruh kehamilan.

Between 50 and 70 percent of first-trimester miscarriages are thought to be random events caused by chromosomal abnormalities in the fertilized egg. Most often, this means that the egg or sperm had the wrong number of chromosomes, and as a result, the fertilized egg can't develop normally.

Sometimes a miscarriage is caused by problems that occur during the delicate process of early development. This would include an egg that doesn't implant properly in the uterus or an embryo with structural defects that prevent it from developing.

Since most healthcare practitioners won't do a full-scale workup of a healthy woman after a single miscarriage, it's usually impossible to tell why the pregnancy was lost. And even when a detailed evaluation is performed – after you've had two or three consecutive miscarriages, for instance – the cause still remains unknown half the time.

When the fertilized egg has chromosomal problems, you may end up with what's sometimes called a blighted ovum (now usually referred to in medical circles as an early pregnancy failure). In this case, the fertilized egg implants in the uterus and the placenta and gestational sac begin to develop, but the resulting embryo either stops developing very early or doesn't form at all.

Because the placenta begins to secrete hormones, you'll get a positive pregnancy test and may have early pregnancy symptoms, but an ultrasound will show an empty gestational sac. In other cases, the embryo does develop for a little while but has abnormalities that make survival impossible, and development stops before the heart starts beating.

Seperti yang ditulis di babycenter.com dalam artikel Coping with Pregnancy Loss,

Understand that it's not your fault! Pregnancy loss or complications can strike anyone. Talk openly and honestly with your partner about what's happened and how it's affecting you. Remember, there's no right or wrong way to deal with grief. Accept your feelings as they are and don't judge yourself or your partner for how you respond.

So, that’s not my fault that I have miscarriage, and it could happen to everyone. I want to be positive through all this, but the hardest part is comment from people all around us. Sometime it’s positive, sometimes it’s negative, and somehow I don’t want they took a pity of me. It happened already, let’s start new pages.